What I learnt from multiple heartbreaks

When I experienced my first heartbreak in high school, what troubled me more than the abysmal feeling one feels in heartbreak was the fear that I may never feel this kind of love ever again. So strongly I believed (naively, obviously) that you get one shot in life when it comes to true love that I thought having squandered it now, I’ll never get a second chance at true love again.

But it didn’t take me long to realize how wrong my thinking was when six months after I joined college, I fell in love again with double the intensity…


When we’re too needy to see the truth.

Of all the countless moments I had shared with my ex-girlfriend, the one I remember the most is the memory of the day when we last saw each other, on the day when she told me we were breaking up.

I was sitting in front of her, on the breakfast table in the garden at the back of my house, munching on the fried bread and baked beans, not at all aware that in a moment she would change everything.

We had a good thing going on — she and I— for the last two years. Great understanding, electric physical…


And the ever ignored Compounding rule of a relationship

“We’re meant to be!”

This belief. This feeling — It is the most important reason that breaks up even the strongest of the relationships.

This belief that we are soulmates, that we are perfect for each other, it’s a miracle that we ever met, that our meeting was somehow special. But which in reality is nothing but one of the equally probable chance event among the infinite sample space out there. And this blind belief that now having found each other, nothing can change this — this state of love. …


It had started to rain again.

Standing at a cross-road waiting for the light to turn green I was staring at the wet road glistening with the yellow reflection of sodium lamplights when I felt something cool and soft pricking against the skin of my face.

I turned my head up and saw illuminated in the yellow cone of street lights, numerous drops of drizzle wafting down in the evening air. They were so light that they seemed to be floating in the air like flakes of snow.

Soon the drizzle had turned into a fine spray of a light…


Is unconditional love an asset or a liability in relationships?

In any business (and also in life), it is considered good sense to have a Plan B as a backup if your Plan A comes to fail. This Plan B, which acts as a cushion, ensures that you don’t up end up with nothing when you are roaring ahead to get everything. A person is considered reckless if he does not have a backup for a rainy day.

But it is frowned upon when the same principle is applied in romantic relationships — which is surprising, considering having the right romantic partner is not only an important part of our…


A story.

1

I called her up again.

After I returned from a late-night party, drunk as hell and hardly in my senses, I opened up the contact list, and without considering the consequences, tapped on her name.

Even after six months, she still had the same caller tune. It was a song I loved. I listened to it until her phone stopped ringing.

She didn't pick up.

I thought of calling her up again. Partly because I wanted to listen to the song. …


When Past Mistakes Seep Into Our Present.

Don’t we all have in our heads a version of our life in which things could have been different?

A kind of phantom life that is so vivid in our thoughts, so rich in the imagination, that it lingers mockingly in front of our eyes, constantly reminding us of what we could have easily had and what now we have so permanently lost.

Like a far-off lighthouse in a black sea, our phantom life towers above us, shining its white light on our dark existence.

But unlike the light of a lighthouse that may guide a drifting boat, the light…


And how we can stop them from doing so.

There are two kinds of people in the world — one who respect themselves; the others who don’t (or doubt it); I belong to the latter category.

I am not sure whether it was something in my formative years or perhaps something in the makeup of my genes, but I am always leaning towards the worst opinion of myself.

When I stand in front of the mirror, the screams of my physical shortcomings drown out the murmurs of the good ones. The work I do is always way below some impossibly high bar. …


How Love Gives Birth To A New Us.

Love is not one thing — it is many things to many people.

Love is a liberating emotion to some but a binding bond to others. For some, it is a beautiful dream; for others, it is a darksome nightmare. It is Valhalla to some people, heaven, filling their lives with an eternal summer-sun forever lighting their lives. Still, to others, it is Niflheim, a hellish place, with only fleeting flashes of light in-between, but dark days and darker nights after that.

And yet, however, varied the end-effect of Love on us might be, one thing that is same in…


What it means to lose your love.

If you are reading this, then you have experienced Love.

No man or woman who has arrived on this earth and lived even fleetingly doesn’t know what it means to love someone (or something.)

Even a child, when cradled in the arms of her parent, experiences this Love. (Though she might not have the capacity to express it.)

We are born from the act of Love; Love runs in our veins. Love is the core of human nature.

But with this capacity to love comes the risk of losing it. …

Nitin Dangwal

Writing stories, poems and a little bit of everything at http://tinytidbits.in

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store