What I learnt from multiple heartbreaks
When I experienced my first heartbreak in high school, what troubled me more than the abysmal feeling one feels in heartbreak was the fear that I may never feel this kind of love ever again. So strongly I believed (naively, obviously) that you get one shot in life when it comes to true love that I thought having squandered it now, I’ll never get a second chance at true love again.
But it didn’t take me long to realize how wrong my thinking was when six months after I joined college, I fell in love again with double the intensity…
When we’re too needy to see the truth.
Of all the countless moments I had shared with my ex-girlfriend, the one I remember the most is the memory of the day when we last saw each other, on the day when she told me we were breaking up.
I was sitting in front of her, on the breakfast table in the garden at the back of my house, munching on the fried bread and baked beans, not at all aware that in a moment she would change everything.
We had a good thing going on — she and I— for the last two years. Great understanding, electric physical…
And the ever ignored Compounding rule of a relationship
“We’re meant to be!”
This belief. This feeling — It is the most important reason that breaks up even the strongest of the relationships.
This belief that we are soulmates, that we are perfect for each other, it’s a miracle that we ever met, that our meeting was somehow special. But which in reality is nothing but one of the equally probable chance event among the infinite sample space out there. And this blind belief that now having found each other, nothing can change this — this state of love. …
It had started to rain again.
Standing at a cross-road waiting for the light to turn green I was staring at the wet road glistening with the yellow reflection of sodium lamplights when I felt something cool and soft pricking against the skin of my face.
I turned my head up and saw illuminated in the yellow cone of street lights, numerous drops of drizzle wafting down in the evening air. They were so light that they seemed to be floating in the air like flakes of snow.
Soon the drizzle had turned into a fine spray of a light…
Is unconditional love an asset or a liability in relationships?
In any business (and also in life), it is considered good sense to have a Plan B as a backup if your Plan A comes to fail. This Plan B, which acts as a cushion, ensures that you don’t up end up with nothing when you are roaring ahead to get everything. A person is considered reckless if he does not have a backup for a rainy day.
But it is frowned upon when the same principle is applied in romantic relationships — which is surprising, considering having the right romantic partner is not only an important part of our…
And True Love Is Neither Momentary Nor Fickle.
When my first girlfriend broke up with me, her reasons were clear — she wasn’t in love with me anymore.
She told me that those initial feelings she felt when we first met have faded away, and there is no point in being together when she can’t feel Love.
At the time of the break-up, I was too battered to understand the soundness of logic.
But over time, I came to accept her reasoning.
We have to feel the Love to be in Love. Without this feeling, this emotion, how can a relationship exist?
She was right.
I decided to…
The importance of unsaid words in love.
What is it that makes some relationships last forever — really living up to the phrase ‘till death do us part’ — while causing others to crumble in their infancy? Why do flames of some love ignite in youth and go on burning until the fading days of life while others ignite and dazzle and extinguish, sometimes within days after they have begun?
I’m sure we will all agree there is no simple answer to this.
For such a cause would be like that single gentle flap of butterfly wings that can transform into mighty tornados. In love, the most…
The Dual Nature Of Love.
Life is full of duality.
Day and night, summer and winter, light and darkness — these are, but a few examples of how two contrasts co-exist, intimately attached, one following another, the presence of one arousing in us the longing for the other, without one, the other doesn’t exist.
This duality lurks in all aspects of life, and in the very nature of life itself, for what is life without death — its counterpart. It is the non-life, the non-existence, that makes us celebrate the arrival of life, the creation of existence.
One aspect of duality arises in us the…
And Everyone Is Fallen In Love With.
One of the greatest pleasures of watching romantic movies (especially Bollywood Romantic Movies) is that eventually, everyone gets a happy ending. The hero and heroine eventually find love. The parents who were initially resistant eventually accept their children’s love. The villain who was an obstacle is eventually removed.
Eventually, everything works out, all love, happy endings.
But even though we enjoy such movies, there is a tiny voice in our heart that never believes the stories to be true. “It happens only in movies,” this voice scoffs in our hearts. “It is all fiction,” it says, “a fantasy, true only…
And I thought I would never say this cliche.
My baby boy is now nine months old, and I never thought that I would say this cliche, but I’m saying it — they grow up too fast.
It is true, they do!
It’s like only yesterday that we brought him from the hospital, a little lump of a body, two little eyes and one pudgy nose put together on that little face, a gentle, calm creature, soft breathing, hardly moving, a doll.
And now, nine months later, he can’t stay still.
Morning comes, and here he is banging on the walls of his crib with his feet, urging us…
